Blangko

25 04 2010

Walang laman ang isip ko.

Kung meron man, I don’t think it’s worth writing about.

Magsulat kaya ako about my fears on turning 25? Clichѐ.

Gusto kong simulan sa pag-hingi ng paumanhin sa inyong mga taga-subaybay ng pagtakbo ko sa aking matagal na pagkawala dahil sa nag-crash ang PC ko. Kaso wag na lang.

Gusto ko rin sanang ituloy ang storya ng “Gamu-gamo: Ang kulisap na nangarap na maging Paruparo”, kaso hindi pa tapos sa utak ko. Natatakot lang ako na baka magaya lang ito sa mga nasimulan ko noon na hanggang simula lang. Hindi natapos.

Singit muna: Muli na namang wumagayway ang hinlalato ko habang pinapalabas ang commercial ng isang pulitikong nag-plagiarize ng music video ng isang yumaong icon. Mangingibang bansa talaga ako kapag naging pangulo yung mokong na iyon. I quote Yin “God, if [deleted in fear of getting jailed for the Anti Cybercrime Law] will win as President, please give us a sign, Send an asteroid to the Philippines.” I feel the same way if his son becomes president. Mas gugustuhin ko na lang magkatotoo yung 2012 Prophecy ng Mayans.

Where was I?

Oh, sa mga local and national politicians po na mapapadpad sa neighborhood po namin. May mensahe lamang po ako. And it goes a little something like this:

Dear Politicians,

I understand that you desperately have to win. I understand that it’s because you think that you’re not rich enough so you want to steal from us in a way that we won’t label you as Thieves but as Corrupt Politicians instead. That way, if you get ousted, there’s a good chance that you’ll be given parole because apparently, stealing from everyone’s taxes is much less of a crime than murder or any other crime in that case. I also understand that to reach this status, you will first need to be elected. And to do that you will need to use catch-y songs to infiltrate voters with low IQs who will vote for someone because they’ve caught the LSS of your campaign jingle.

Please don’t mind me raising my middle finger every time your campaign convoy passes by the street where I live. Also, if you are one of my followers, please ignore my trash talk and still visit my blog from time to time. That way, I would talk less trash about you.

I only ask of you not to block the following streets around 8:00pm on weekdays: Pasong Tamo, Ayala Ave, McKinley Dr, Buendia, C5, EDSA, Jupiter St, Makati Ave, Paseo, Rizal Dr and 32nd Ave. Well, basically, the whole Makati and some parts of Taguig. I pass by these streets when I go to work. As you may have known, sweat and formal wear don’t look well together.

Most importantly, avoid playing your stupid campaign jingle within the 3-mile radius of our humble abode. I swear by my dead Fortune Lobster, Mokmok, I’ll throw anything I can grab on to your van if my sacred afternoon sleep gets interrupted. Worst, I won’t vote for you or anyone on your party.

A very influential voter,

MD

Bago ko tapusin ang “Rant, MD! Rant!” edition nitong post na ito, dahil sa mahilig magbigay ng takdang aralin si kuya JKulisap, ako rin ay magbibigay na kani-kaniyang assignment:

Mga Maskara, o kahit isa lang sa inyong pito, mangalap ng mga dahilan upang iboto ko si [deleted in fear of getting jailed for the Anti Cybercrime Law].

Duking, iguhit ang magiging itsura ng Pilipinas kapag naging pangulo si [deleted in fear of getting jailed for the Anti Cybercrime Law].

Lolo Kuli-kuli, i-recite ang May Bilog na Hugis Itlog sa wikang Hobbit.

Pong, mangalap ng mga imahe at balita kung may paparating na Asteroid, Meteorite, Comet o kahit ano’ng bagay sa Outer Space na babagsak sa Pilipinas bago mag-2012.

Biro lang po yung mga assignment. Pwede niyo ring seryosohin kung napag-tripan.

Thank you so much,

MD

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