Kamalayang Malaya

14 06 2010

Sa wakas, ang isang taon sa isang tahanan ay natapos sa 6 na kahon. Ang ating pagsasama ay binuod sa 6 na kahon.

Iniwan ko ang mga bagay na hindi na natin kakailanganin pang muli… mga nakaraang nasaktan ka at nasaktan ako.

Hindi ako makapaniwalang malayo na rin ang ating narating.

Ngayon, nagsimula tayo sa anim na kahon, mga alaalang binitbit at gagawing pundasyon ng bagong yugto.

Hinanapan ng lugar sa bagong tahanan ang anim na kahon.

Dito ang mga damit, doon ang mga sapatos…

Konting punas, konting walis…

Urong doon, urong dito…

Buhat…

Inayos ang lahat para umayon sa atin. Lahat inayos para sa bagong simula.

Nawa’y umayon pati ang oras sa akin. Hayaan mong magsimula tayo muli. Itama ang nagawang pagkakamali, baguhin ang dating gawi.

Punuin ang tahanan ng pagmamahalan, gaya ng pagpuno natin ng mga gamit.

Pero kahit gaano kahirap, kapagod, natapos pa rin ang araw sa tabi mo.

Yakap ka.

Sa aking himbing, nakita ko ang mga araw na maaaring na nating gawin sa bagong tahanan. Gigising ako habang tulog ka pa. Hindi muna ako babangon dahil gusto ko munang pagmasdan ang paligid. Baka naman pinaglalaruan lang ako ng isip ko. Kapag humupa na ang mga takot at bumungad na ang kagalakang gumising nga ako sa tabi mo, babangon na ako para pagsilbihan ka. Maaaring magising ka habang pinaghahanda pa kita ng agahan, maaari ring gisingin pa kita sa aking halik para sabay tayong kumain ng agahan at pag-kwentuhan ang mga bagay na gagawin natin sa buong araw.

Kilala kita, matutulog kang muli pagkatapos mong kumain. Pagkatapos linisin ang mga pinagkainan. Uupo ka sa sala upang muling matulog, pero hindi naman ako makapapayag na hindi ka matulog sa aking kandungan.

Ayos na ako sa gano’n. Kahit buong araw ka pa matulog, ayos lang, basta sa aking kandungan ka matulog.

Sa muli mong pagtulog, ibubulong ko sa’yo ang mga salitang hindi ko sinasabi sa’yo. Gaya ng kung gaano kita talaga kamahal… na kung sana, ikaw na lang ang mamahalin ko habang ako’y nabubuhay.

Ikaw ang tahanan ko.

At araw-araw akong mananabik na umuwi sa iyong yakap at halik.

“Ang bahay ay hindi tahanan kung walang nagmamahalan”

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A Promise to Lily

9 05 2010

Dear Lily,

The first time I saw you, I have to admit that there are doubts in my mind. Will you break my heart? Will I break yours? Will our love last? But because my heart has a mind of its own, I just found myself moving closer to where you are. I thought that probably I could get near you to see you closer. But one step became two… then two steps became three… and before I know it, I’m just right behind you – looking at your beauty. Although I’m tempted, I tried my best for you not to see me. Because I thought, if I’d see your eyes, I would fall into a spell and I’d stay longer and may never leave your side until you come with me.

But the unavoidable happened. I stayed a little too long that your eyes met mine.

From that moment, everything around me went slow-motion. First I touched your hands. Then I had to put you in my arms. And before I had the chance to savor the moment I had you in my arms, you kissed me.

I wanted you to come with me. Brave all odds and just know that we love each other.

I could just imagine the days we will spend together. Every waking day, you greet me with those eyes that caught me and then everything else on that day would be just perfect. I would go home from work and would kiss you and tell you how my day went until we fall asleep.

But reality came to me.

I just couldn’t.

I still have too less space in my life for you, so though it pains me so much, I had to let you go… for now.

But before I go I had to leave you with a promise. I will return.

And in my return I’ll make sure that everything in my life will be perfect – nothing to ever hurt you.

Please hold on for me.

But if by chance I didn’t come back for you, please know how my heart breaks for not coming back for you. It just means I still am in the ruins. I don’t want to bring you in my life if it would mean that you would have to bear all the hurt and hardships with me. So if you find someone else before I could get back to you, it just means it’s not meant to be.

I’ll let you go for now. But if we meet again, I will make sure that I won’t leave that place without you with me.

Love,

MD

Ito si Lily… not her true picture but you get the idea. We found her in Tien De Sitas and just couldn’t leave the store when we saw her. But because we don’t have much space for a pet, we had to leave her for now. Until we move to our new place, we couldn’t bring her home. Isa pang factor eh si Lily ang magiging kauna-unahang aso ko. Gusto ko maging special ang lahat bago ko siya maiuwi. Kaya ngayon, nagba-browse muna ako ng mga Beagle Pup Care tips para kapag nakalipat na kami eh ready na akong ampunin si Lily. ‘wag nga lang sanang maunahan kami. Kaya Lily hold on!

We decided to name her Lily dahil sa palabas na Gossip Girl. Kung may maibibigay kayong tips kung paano mag-alaga ng tuta, ay lubos kong maa-appreciate.

Salamat!